Your comment was heartbreaking! I could say so much, but if you were in my house, I don't know if I would hug you, or shake some sense into you. Probably both. Bottom line sis, love starts at home. Now, how are we going to find someone to love us when we don't love ourselves? I have learned the hard painful way, when you don't love yourself, all you do is attract unhealthy men who CAN'T love you, and the healthy men DON'T want to be with someone who doesn't think well of themselves.
As far as financial struggles, that's something you alone are resposible for. I know it's hard, but dammit, we just have to face the facts that we are grown-assded women; prince charming and superman are make believe. This is the 21st century, we HAVE NO CHOICE but to PULL OUR OWN DAM SELVES UP!!!!!!. So if you choose to be uneducated, unskilled, and broke, you can't put that on anyone but yourself. It's never too late to make changes; A college degree is a 4 year investment that reaps 20-30 years rewards. That's why so many of our men don't want us, not because we aren't beautiful, or whatnot, but because we can be so self-loathing and evil. Nobody want to be with that! Women of other races aren't perfect, but you would NEVER hear the average white, Asian, or Latina chick talking about 'all we'll ever be is broke and alone'. THEY WOULD NEVER SAY THAT ABOUT THEMSELVES!
I was just thinking to myself, if I had married my first real love when I was 18, we'd been married for 18 years now. I enjoyed your post, and no, that person isn't in my life, and I wish I could have married earlier but oh well. Let me just say too...ladies WE HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR F-UP CHOICES SO WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM. Like she said, change your game if what you're doing isn't working for you! Love is painful, Life will be painful at times, but that's part of it. It's so easy to sit back and be bitter, but it takes a REAL PERSON and a REAL INDEPENDENT WOMAN to own up to your parts, your mistakes, and move forward in love and self respect.