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Beyonce Vs Etta James: It’s On, Which Is Just Plain Weird
By Stuart Heritage on Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 6:30pm9 Comments
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The most touching part of President Obama’s inauguration ball was when Beyonce’s nipples performed At Last.
We’ve never seen nipple work like it. But while Barack Obama and the rest of the world were enchanted by Beyonce’s flawless rendition, one person wasn’t so keen – Etta James, the original performer of the song and the woman Beyonce played in Cadillac Records.
Apparently Etta James was so infuriated by the performance that she told a concert audience that Beyonce’s “gonna get her *** whupped.” Unlikely – Etta James is an old woman, and whupping an *** of Beyonce’s size would exhaust a professional cage fighter.
As far as intergenerational celebrity spats go, this is probably the best week of all time. Today we had Stephen King vs Stephenie Meyer, yesterday we had Hilary Duff vs Faye Dunaway and the day before that we had Christian Bale vs THE ENTIRE WORLD.
But before we start looking forward to tomorrow, when we hear that the entire cast of Gossip Girl is going to attack Elaine Stritch with hammers, we should tell you about yet another celebrity spat that’s flared up – Beyonce vs Etta James.
Beyonce and Etta James first started circling each other when it was revealed that Beyonce would be playing Etta in that Cadillac Records film that nobody saw. And it was a nice, mutually-exclusive relationship – Beyonce could star in a film that she could kid herself was Oscar-worthy while Etta James could be rediscovered by the six or so people who actually went to see the film – but then came Barack Obama’s inauguration, and that’s when things went [EXPLETIVE] up.
For whatever reason – we’re guessing it’s because she owned a dress that made her nipples look bigger than anyone else’s – Barack Obama chose Beyonce to perform At Last at his inauguration ball over Etta James. And that sent Etta James into enough of a meltdown to screech this at a concert audience in Seattle last week:
“You guys know your president, right? The one with the big ears? He ain’t my president. He might be yours… that woman he had singing for him…she’s gonna get her *** whupped. The great Beyonce…I can’t stand Beyonce.”
No, really, she did. Here’s the audio of it
Genius. But, of course, this is just water off a duck’s back to Beyonce – Etta James is by no means the first veteran soul singer to round on her. Just last year Aretha Franklin got the hump with Beyonce for calling someone else ‘the queen’ instead of her. And where’s Aretha Franklin now, huh? She’s just a fat lady in a ridiculous hat.
Still, though, we can’t help but wish that this Beyonce/Etta James catfight had happened before Cadillac Records finished filming. After all, would you have gone to see a film where Beyonce plays a woman who grows up and comes to violently resent Beyonce, with an ending where Etta James Beyonce and Beyonce Beyonce have a Matrix-style battle on the roof of a burning building?
*** up. Of course you bloody would.
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