: MediaTakeOut.com learned that in a recent interview with the UK’s Daily Telegraph, R&B singer Erykah Badu was asked what kind of QUALITIES that she looks for in a man. And here was her response:
No. Infidelity is not a deal-breaker for me. We’re all born sexual beings . . . I myself am not someone with a very high libido. I don’t require sex for happiness – I need companionship. I need a partner I can depend on, that I can love and grow with.Well, what do you expect to come out of the mouth of a chick with 4 kids by 3 DIFFERENT RAPPERS!!But I do understand the nature of these men I’ve been with, and men in general. They have a need to chase.
Ya'll OVIOUSLY didnt get wat she was saying! she was saying that if u love a person sooooo much and cant live without them, then why break up over a decision he made once when yall can live and learn from the mistake so he wont do it again. she didnt mean that her man can *** and thing that has a *** and she wouldnt care!! DONT PLAY ERYKA LIKE THAT MTO!!
Sad. Thats why men think they can treat woman the way they do. There has to be a point where you have respect and expectations for yourself. Men want us to be wifey and stay home with the baby. Cant even look at another *** without them getting mad but its ok for them to do they dirt? smdh
*side point* WTF my vverification sentence is "giving head" Who the hell comes up with these? lmao
Eryka's a realist. nobody wants to admit it, but thats our nature. some people act out on it, some people just think about acting out on it. and obviously the men she be *** with are the kind who act out on it, and she can deal with that as long as she gets what she wants out of the relationship,whatever that might be.
MEN HAVE CONDITIONED THEMSELVES TO BELIEVE THAT A WOMANS PLACE IS IN THE BED AND KITCHEN,AND KIDS ROOM!! SHOPPING AND MOPPIN.. WHY THE HELL DONT WE JUST GET IT..IAM LIKE ERICA iam not throwing all my eggs in a basket when your chance is 9 to 1o a man will cheat given the opportunity... IT MAY NOT BE LOVE HE IS AFTER IF HIS WOMAN IS NOT A TOTAL B(***CH AT HOME HE WILL RETURN...ONLY PROBLEM IS HIV,HERPIES..OTHER THAN THAT WE ALL WOULD ALLOW CHEATING
That was a skanky comment yall made after her statment MTO.. Be careful, that's my honey...I don't care if she had a tribe a kids.. She Da Girl! and most women don't want to accept that fact. Not saying all men cheat but MOST MEN ARE OPPORTUNISTS.. EVEN the SQUEAKY CLEANS ones will try if they get the place,person,hard-on,right timing---It's a go!!. so so sad.. But So so tru!
Never did she say she would stay with a dude and just let them cheat forever. She said that she knows that men need a chase and she ain't lying she might let one slide maybe but that is dangrous with all the STDs running rampid. We all take gambles and give people chances. That is what living and learning is about. She only has 3 kids by the way. It also occurs to me that if she feels this way,she should be using some contraceptives as well. Erykah please remember that if you get off your knees, you might recall, your 20 feet tall!!
CHEATIN IS AS NATURAL AS BREATHING!! MEN DON'T WANNA BE WITH ONE WOMAN. IF YA MAN HAD A CHOICE HE WOULD SLEEP WITH AS MANY WOMEN AS OFTEN AS HE COULD! AND THE ENCLUDES "YOUR" MAN AS WELL! YA MAN MIGHT BE GOOD AROUND YOU BUT IF YOU CAN'T FREAK YA MAN LIKE NO OTHER I SEE LITTLE HOPE.I SAY ABOUT 99% OF ALL MEN CHEAT AT SOME POINT I KEEPS IT WAY REAL!!!
@ TheBrokenSilence, you sound like someone who has not been exposed to other people/cultures. If you travel outside of your inner city horizons maybe you will encounter some cultures where monogamy is not the norm. Many cultures practice ploygamy and polylandry because there are not enough husbands for each woman, because so much house/village works requires more than one person. Humans are not all monogamous by nature and those who are candid enough to admit this are just being real with who they are. Just because this lifestyle does not work for you gives you no merit to assume someone has low self esteem. I believe the opposite - men and women cheat. So if a man cheats, get over it and keep moving. Thats what I was taught that people with high self esteem do. To sulk and remain bitter and 'hate' other peoples baser tendencies, your just setting yourself for the fall.
Monique said the same thing. I THINK IT'S THIS EVOLUTION THEORY, THAT SHE IS PUSHING, IF YOU LOOK IN HER VIDEO WINDOW SEAT , SHE STRIPS IS KILLED AND THEN REBORN!! SO YOU CANT EXPECT MUCH FROM A PERSON THAT DOESN'T HAVE GODLY VALUES.. YES, A LOT OF WOMEN AND MEN CHEAT!! BUT YOU CAN NOT PUT ALL WOMEN AND MEN IN THAT MOLD, WHEN YOU ARE IN CHRIST YOU ARE NOT YOUR FLESHLY LIEING FORNICATING SELF YOU ARE A NEW CREATURE.. THEIR ARE MEN WHO HAVE SELF CONTROL AND LOVE GOD MORE THAN THEMSELVES , THAT DENY THEMSELVES AND PICK UP THEIR CROSS DAILY.. IN LIFE WE ARE AS LOW AS WE WANT TO BE.. GOD BLESS
God help a cheating man he go sleep with a woman with HIV and the condom pops and he catch it, then u will know "not raw dogging" does not validate ur reason to cheat.
there are men out there who make it a priority to stay faithful to one woman and they do it. I guess they are the true men of integrity.
A: To paraphrase, Erykah said she does not tolerate cheating totally, but a one time thing wouldn't end the relationship. MTO didn't print the whole quote and just took some excerpts out of context.
B: If she did allow cheating, what business is it of yours? ROFL@ all these people who think just because a person likes something they don't like, it means they have low self esteem. What logic.
One chick even said, "No woman really wants to share her man" Wtf? Stereotype much? It's funny to me how many black people subscribe to broad sweeping generalizations...especially when we fight so hard against *** like that.
As usual you simpletons are missing her message. She never once said she only dates cheaters and "ALLOWS" her man to cheat on her. What she said is infidelity is not a reason to break up a harmonious union due to the fact that its only a natural, physical feeling that men will be attracted to other women. Some of you ladies here need to come up off the high horses and get real...as you typed your "opinion" of Erykah your man just busted one with his co worker. What she acknowledges publicly is no different than what your man does in the dark. And some of y'all forgave it and went back anyway.
I agree Ms Badu. When a *** cheats he is really on cheating himself. Just watch Snapped. God is my judge *** juror. A man cheating on me is NOT the worst thing he can do. Imo, people are effin stupid to think that a person can be faithful forever. Its just *** people. Men can have *** w/o emotions and women have a hard time understanding that. But I get it. I just can't stand when a dude is a cheater but can't handle when his woman goes out *** gets hers. All is fair in love and war!!!
Another one with no self-esteem spouting bs to the media and the world... go ahead and stick to these no-good coons, a piece of some guy's black d*ck is better than nothing, right? As long as you know they ain't gonna marry your stupid ***! 'Nothin but a brotha' - UGH! I prefer not to wear humiliation like a badge, keep that strong black woman garbage to yourself please! It's embarrassing to be a black woman in the US more and more.
TOTALLY AGREE W/PLAINJANE74. People can be so f***ing ignorant. Most of the folks commenting don't know what it is like to have a low *** drive. So, it easy to misinterpret what she's saying. Breakdown.. Cheating would not be a reason for her to leave her man because she knows she have a low *** drive. So, if she not giving him what he needs when he wants it; she not concern with him getting it elsewhere. As long as he can show her companionship. She happy. SHe's a grown *** woman; where is it written that all ppl must stick to the same tradition?? NO WHERE!!
Lol she just put into prospective of what goes in anyway. Men are physical turds and women are emotional Martians Lol no seriously though, I've been trying to understand why a man gotta *** multiples of women just to get the same result...a *** nut. Do men bust differently with different women? Just asking...
Say what you want ladies but she just being realistic about the game and aint kidding herself show me one honest no booty on the side getting *** I'll show you 100 who ar.Why yall sitting at work on the computer right now yall *** knocking something down at home in yall beds and aint gonna wash the ***...LMMFAO
Wow the more I read some of these comments the more my brain starts to wither away to nothingness. Some of you guys must not have read what she said, its okay to read every now and then. I don't believe that what MTO was applying was what she was saying, but then again deep thought and comprehension may be out of you guys realm of thinking.
@MTO STAF: Wat dif does it make how many or who her b.daddys r? AND yes they r by rappers. DNT u thnk that if ur dad was 1 ud have sumthn betr 2 do than sit arnd and make up *** just to have a story. . . HEL u wld b tha story. . .BEIN THA MOUTH IS ALWAYS BETR THN BEIN THA AZ! @READRZ: Wld it b betr 4 society if she was married 2 each of her b.daddys thn got divorced? SUM wld say yes and id say thts jus plain dumb. A *** UP IS A *** UP &ITS HER OWN SO DNT *** WORRY BT IT
We are all born with a beast nature, but it takes maturity, wisdom and spirituality for us to change into better people. You would think more people learn this as we age but the old way of thinking is losing out and people don't care about commitment or respect anymore and that's why they make statements like this and are accepting of the whorish ways. Hollywood and the media are pushing this agenda and type of behavior more than ever and we are accepting it easy because its now the norm.
Well seeing that she is a MOTHER, she should have higher standards and want more for herself and her children, what example is she setting for seven and moons and stars??? (or whatever her other kids names are). I see once again Erykah with that BS. Thats why I dont look up to these celebs and their non sense, single mom with 3kids and 3 bfs couldnt pay me to be in her wacky shoes
It's obvious very few ppl are familiar with the entire article (thanks mto..lol)..some of these reponses have no merit because the article was chopped. I personally agree with Erykah, cheating isn't a deal breaker (moreso a window of opportunity to grow & expand in from "disconnection". (Cheating once is probable in any relationship)
and...
for all the women saying they DEMAND/REQUIRE!!! monogomy omgee erykah has low self esteem...umm since when is a request mandatory?
sorry sista it doesn't mean he will do it. realism101
I kind of get what shes saying, but I don't think she put it right, to a certain extent I feel the same way, I am not going to chase a man down, look through his phone and badger him, I have other more important things to worry about in my life, as long as I see no evil, hear no evil, he answers the phone when I call, is there when I need him, and treats me like the Queen that I am, I don't give a flying *** what he does.
I agree with prettysoul08 100%. Erykah is dating artists, men who are free spirits and are not likely to be faithful to anyone. Generally speaking though if a man loves you and is mature (over 30) he will be faithful to you. You have a lot of little boys out there running around saying that they are men but they are not. That's why they cheat and that same undisciplined behavior can probably been seen in other areas of their lives (i.e. their finances, professional development etc).
If a woman doesn't mind her man straying - that is her business. I totally understand where she is coming from - BUT I DON"T want my MAN cheating. That's just my insecurity, though. But I'm not mad at her for NOT letting it bother her. In fact, if I could find a way to not let it bother me, either, I think I would live a much healthier & happier. And as far as her having 4 children by different men. So WHAT - as long as she is supporting her OWN children and not asking others to support them (welfare). You can have 20 children if you can take of them financially and emotionally.
A lot of you are doing the exact thing Erykah is talking about. The next time any of you self righteous women look through your man's texts, emails, phone contacts, check his voicemail or call up some random chick because her number is new in his phone you are no better than Erykah Badu because if you didn't have the instinct that he was cheating you wouldn't have the need to do any of it. And even when he's caught a lot of you STILL STAY. How does that make you different from Erykah??? It doesn't...you're just a fool about yours. Erykah is just keepin it 100 with herself and her partner.
if a man is going to cheat he will do it, no matter how much u nag, *** or moan about it. He doesn’t need permission, so why drive yourself crazy over something you can't control? MTO misunderstood what she said. she didn't say that it's ok for him to cheat. she's not saying to him 'go ahead baby, smash every female in sight' she said that as long as he takes care of her in other ways it wouldn't be the end of the relationship IF he did cheat. from what i took from it, she is saying that there is more to a relationship than ***
O PLEASE, SHES TRYING WAY TO HARD TO BE " INDEPEDENT " NO WOMAN WANTS THIER MAN SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN. HOW MUCH RESPECT DO U REALLY HAVE FOR YOUR SELF? WOULD U FEEL GUILTY IF U CAME BACK WITH SOME STD??. SHE NEEDS TO GIVE UP THAT ACT AND COME DOWN TO REALITY AND NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW HUMAN EMOTIONS. NO PERSON WOULD WANT THAT UNLESS THEY REALLY DONT GIVE A *** ABOUT WHO THEIR DATING
I love me some Erykah! She is so conscious and aware of self. Her esteem is sooo not low...she just chooses to live above trife ***.***. I def feel what she sayin. She sayn keep it outta her face tho she aware it could be hapnin behind her back but aint trippin as long as he takin care of home *** handlin bizness. My philosophy too...xcpt wit women. ;-)
Erykah realizes that her libido is not how i should say... as up to speed with man... and she might just be fertile as hell... you never know. but shes saying she aint lookin at the sexual aspect of a relationship... more woman should think about that... stop flippin ova your man gettin side ***... YOU ARE WHO HE COMES HOME TO... THAT OTHA *** IS NOTHIN BUT ANOTHER *** FOR HIM TO HALF ***'D *** DOWN... more females should see that
YEAH RIGHT!!! I found out that women who said they don't care about their men cheating are liars. they just want people to think that they are not hurt when in fact deep down they are hurting LOL when you love someone you want to keep it close to you not share with everybody and anybody EWWWW that even sounds so gross!!!
This is why women should save themselves for marriage. If every women did that then the amount of killer germs going around would decrease. All them young girls don't wanna listen to their mommas and wonder why they get hurt. It is simple. If love and *** are [separate] then let him be just a companion [friend]. If he can't be with you because of that then you will know that in his mind "love and ***" are the same thing. Men are the ones who make women feel that *** and love are one entity and that is why they give it up so soon. Lesson learned for you ladies.
thas why she single now along wit half these females out here.. dont no dude wanna just be no companion lets be real he gonna wanna piece now and then so if he cant get it from you he gone get it from the next.. she said her libido wasnt high so that jus mean she aint no nympho or got any freak in her she a nunn proly wack in bed..and dont no *** wants that
YUCK...THAT'S WHY THE HECK YA GOT SO MANY KIDS BY SO MANY DIFFERENT BABY DADDIES.
My girlfriend has 4, 2 by the same father. I asked her the other day if she wants more and she said yes. YES?? The 4 you have now don't have any daddies...why the hell would you want more? A single parent. 2 have autism. What the heck is that all about. More income tax money, disability, SSI....what?? So ridiculous and shameful for this to be what is excepted. Just a mess. The planet is already over populated, people need to stop popping these kids out like tic tacs.
Don't give it up so soon...and you will be glad you didn't. By the way, I love Erykah's openness to this topic. I respect where she is coming from with her OWN opinion and I cannot knock her down for that.
What I really find interesting is her unique sense of style [which is very Afro- centric]. She is so proud of her roots [it's beautiful & admirable]you would be surprised she was from Texas.lol
I <3 Erykah. It's her decision it is what it is. Some pppl are so jaded the idea that "Monogamy was created by women..." is b.s. If God intended for man and woman to be with numerous partners why do we only have 1 *** organ?? If we would invest the same amount of time into sparking up the *** life as we do looking for new booty we would never get bored. It's too many diseases out there when ur single u can do what u want but when ur with 1 leave that lifestyle be. Just my opinion.
You bytches will never understand the nature of men !
MONOGAMY IS NU-NATURAL AND AGAINST NATURE ! IF IT WAS UP THE MEN, WE WOULD F@#*** EVERY FINE WOMAN WE COULD GET OUR HANDS ON, PERIOD !
THIS APPLIES TO YOUR MAN TOO BYTCH !
I DON'T GIVE A *** HOW FINE YOU ARE OR HOW GOOD YOUR PU$$Y IS ! AND WHY DO WE DO THIS ? BECAUSE MEN NEED VARIETY PERIOD ! AIN'T NOTHIN LIKE THAT NEW CAR SMELL LOL ! A NYGGA GET TIRED OF YO @SS AFTER A WHILE AND WE JUST PUT UP WITH YOU CUZ THATS JUST WHERE WE AT.
IF A MAN COULD F@#*** ANYONE HE WANTED WITHOUT YOU GETTIN MAD, HE WOULD, PERIOD, END OF STORY AND THIS APPLIES TO ALL YOU BYTCHES !
Y'ALL WOMEN WHO ARE BLAMING MEN DON'T GET IT...you are the problem. You give into them too soon. Do you want them to want you for you and not your skills in bed? Take it one step at a time. A lot of women have a problem with this and that is why teen pregnancy is on the rise. Don't be discouraged. If the man don't want you then who CARES??You either accept the nature, stay by yourself or move on to the next on with the same nature.
"ChulaChula85...And I bet it's the same polygamy loving men that would just love their woman to be getting smashed out by some other dude(s) right??? GTFOH" ------------------------------- That is EXACTLY what I was thinking. Men don't want their women going around town. It is all about control and power for the men. If women don't give it up so soon they [men] will swurm in their pants.Don't give them power and they will know who is boss [US]. I agree that if the *** is the problem you can work on it with the person you love but...I guess katdaddy said men want variety [hoes].
@ cutzie2pac
whatever ! women outnumber men in our society. if every man was faithful, there would be like 7 women out there feignin for dykk ! bottom line, its way too much drippin wet pu$$y in America for a nygga to be totally faithful.
The nature of man is not monogamy. Monogamy is a farce. the quicker women understand this, the better off we will all be. See, men understand this fact already.
its u blind broads up hear preachin an *** that are resistant to reality.
@kattdaddy
I understand that men love to be with more than one women, but you need to know that with that thought in mind it is just a FANTASY that can be lived out. But if we were all meant to date many people at once and be with many people at once, then why is it our natural reaction to get jealous when we see that someone we are with or attracted to is with another[people who we are close to]? If men or women don't own each other [which is true] why get jealous and expect the person to be with you alone?
example, would you let your wife have an orgy with other men? And why judge her for it if it is human nature?
i take it as she is saying that because when a man cheats we all 9 times out of 10 take his *** back so why sit home pondering about it if you know dudes aint nothing but dogs as long as he taking care of home i think we either accept it or sit around and wait on it to come out and take his *** right back its not much difference you still end up with a cheating *** man
...If women "came" every time they had *** (like men do), the playing field would be a lot more even...Some women don't ENJOY ***, so they don't have the INCENTIVE to readily engage in it like men do...Ask a man if he has ever had BAD *** and he will probably say "no, never"...But ask a woman the same thing and she will tell you "yes, many times"...Sad, but true...
UMMM I'M A BIT ICKY ON HER RESPONSE I KNOW SOME PPL ARENT BORN WITH HIGH LIBIDOS BUT HELL NO U NOT GONNA SLEEP AROUND WITH BECKY,SHAREKA,KIM, PATRICIA COUSIN COUSIN, TAMEKA *** WENDY *** THEN COME HOME TO ME *** THINK U GETTIN SOMETHIN IF A PERSON CARES ABOUT U, MAN OR WOMAN THEY WONT NEED THE FEEL TO LOOK ELSEWHERE *** IF U DO U WILL HAVE THE DECENCY TO LET UR PARTNER KNOW WATS GOIN ON...IF U SLEEP AROUND KEEP UR *** SINGLE
The only good thing about a relationship is *** period. Let's keep it real in 2010. Marriage is overrated. A faithful man is wishful thinking. Get you some condoms, get your needs met and keep it moving. If you want companionship, buy a *** pet. *** out her bitter and unhappy over a man is utterly ridiculous. Life is too ***. I agree with Erykah 100% but I'll take it a step further and say, I don't even want a man up under me everyday. So a man would need to have his own place, so he can get the *** out my house when I need some me time.
@kattdaddy2
I probably be the only female who agree with you. Being open to *** and being with one person is unnatural. Humans are attracted to a variety of people and we are attracted to more then one person because it's a 99.9% chance the person your attracted to is gone be attracted to someone else also. If you don't want a man cheating, then you need to become celibate and find a man who is celibate also. You can't have it both ways.
Erkyah never said 'my boyfriends can sleep with however they want, long as they still sleeping with me' She said that she understands that men need *** and if they cheat she wouldnt leave them. And thats smart at least the first time someone cheats on you. cuz its very likely you will be cheated on once by that person so you might as well stay.
I think you guys are missing the point. She admitted that she doesn't have a very high *** drive and that she doesn't require *** to be happy. Judging by the types of men she's been with (rappers) I think she would have to live in a fantasy world to believe they would just roll over and be okay with that. So she's being a REALIST by saying SHE UNDERSTANDS NOT ENCOURAGES. *** READING IS FUNDAMENTAL MORONS!
Do u MS BADU!
My 2 Cents
@ Ms "security guard".....u must have low self esteem, there are a lot of good faithful men, take it u must have never had one in ur life. Maybe "it's u".......(that's why most females take on careers like the one u have (low self esteem) some advice - mentally take ur uniform off when u leave work, good relationships aren't about power and control
