“TRUTH BE TOLD”
The Things We Fear The Most Have Already Happened To Us
There’s a lot of FRICTION between Black men and Black women. We can lie to ourselves and pretend that the problem is not there, or we can do something to try and address this problem. What I’m trying to do is create a dialogue, so that we can take a look at this problem.
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Black men do not pride their women in the same manner other races of men do. In many forms of media where they have little to moderate control ( i.e. music videos, urban magazines, mediocre television, urban modeling, etc ) they only exploit certain models. And we know what “certain” means: mixed, light complected blacks, or ethnic non-black women. By and large Black men only seem to want to show the world the type of black women that have the most noticeable non-black features. I think the concern Black women have about Black men gravitating to non-black women is born out of a deep, inset inferiority complex. It is such a palpable, yet highly irrational fear, that it is now classified as a psychological phobia. The media represents a very small subset of people. What they do does not reflect on the entire demographic. This misperception is a function of their ubiquity, (taking a minority and making it seem as if its a majority case behavior.) A strong preference for an idea doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is obligated to share that opinion. That’s what they call bigotry, in other more educated circles. Seeing a black man of fame or wealth marry a black woman darker them himself is extremely rare. Black men have a preference for lighter-skin women (preference for light skinned women is nothing unique to black men, it’s the same case with Hispanic men, Phillipino men, Indian men, Arab men etc... Some will end up with women of about their same shade. An inclination towards fairer members of the feminine gender is a natural function in men generally. But black men with a high degree of choice in mate selection such as those that are wealthy or famous don’t often marry black women with dominant African phenotype. This propensity seems to suggest that the male brain naturally creates a direct association between femininity and fairness, with greater femininity being more desirable among women. The obvious implications of this are that fairer women will be more preferred than less fair ones. Most black men don’t have the choice/access of marrying ANY woman they want because of taboos regarding interracial marriage. However, Black men with success and social status do. Black actors, musicians and celebrities by the masses are dating or married to non-black women. And when most famous black men do marry a black woman, it is almost always a black woman lighter then themselves. I’m not aware of any black man of fame or wealth that is married to a black woman darker than himself, or one with dominant African features. With the exception of Barack Obama. In fact, if I meet a black man of wealth and status I am usually surprised to find out if he is NOT dating a non-black woman. Looking at the black men who have as much racial choice as white men have, it’s undeniable that black men prefer mixed, lighter skinned, or non-black women and tend to detest women with greater African features. We cannot deny that there is an anti-black (or perhaps I should say anti-dark) preference in mate selection amongst black males in particular. Black men, when given choice will opt for women with less African features. Statistics bare that out. There are studies that showed that light-skinned blacks are more likely to be dated/married. So if the dating/marriage rate for light-skin Blacks is higher than that of dark-skin Blacks, what does that tell you about their value in the mating marketplace? “That light skin is preferred” is beyond dispute to me. The only question left in my mind is why? I question whether black men have internalized White standards of beauty to an extent that that prefer women with Caucasian features opposed to African features. Black men at the top of the mating pecking order who have the most selection of available women almost always choose women that are lighter than they are. (Mixed, light-skin Blacks, White/non-Black women)
Also I deride that tired argument of Black women augmenting their appearance more than any other women. White women outnumber black women by a ratio of 13:1 in the USA. More White women in the U.S. and the majority of them color their hair chemically and straighten it by blow drying. That alone exceeds Black women relaxing their hair. Has it occurred to you that Black women relax hair for diversity in styling options? Irrelevant! When a black woman relaxes her hair instead of utilizing any other of the available styles that naturally accentuates her afro-centric hair, or wears colored contacts into her eyes, or bleaches her skin, that is self-hatred. I have nothing against Black women adding variation to their appearance. But when it goes outside the domain of authenticity, that’s where they lose their pride. Our world is much more interesting with specific cultures rather than with one universal culture. Brazil has the most diversity in the world, according to the National Research by Household Sample (PNAD) of 2008, 48.43% of the population (about 92 million) described themselves as White; 43.80% (about 83 million) as Brown (Multiracial), 6.84% (about 13 million) as Black; 0.58% (about 1.1 million) as Yellow; and 0.28% (about 536 thousand) as Amerindian, while 0.07% (about 130 thousand) did not declare their race.) All the titles for different colours in Brazil do is cause division while the “White” (European) Brazilians unite and prosper. (Not including White Brazilians) they are of the poorest nations. Where is Brazils Black/Brown middle class??? NO EXISTANT!!!
I know it is said that marriages indicate that there is relatively little mating between white/non-black females and black males. But, my observations indicate that there is a great deal of social and sexual activity between Black and white/non-black women. When our marital indicators tell us one thing and our eyes something else what are you to believe? Many young white girls with young black men, everywhere, far outnumber the number of white men with Asian girls. In our youth, more and more white/non-black women with black men then black men with black women. It is very common to see young white/non-black girls in great numbers with black boy friends in spite of the far greater number of black females on a campus then black males. It’s a growing sight and more common now then it was ten years ago and I would presume that it will be more common in years to come. The same is true in seeing white woman with children obviously fathered by black men. As housing, education and employment become less segregated, is it possible that we are seeing what is a growing cross-racial sexual attraction? They say opposites attract and here we do have that. While I don’t believe that Black men prefer White women per se, I do believe they prefer lighter-skin women with aesthetic Eurocentric features. It has nothing to do with a universal male biological preference, but the internalization of a Eurocentric standard of beauty in America. Light skin is desired by both male and females. Black men do have a marked preference for women who have a Caucasian aesthetic – that is light skin, sculpted/delicate features, and long manageable hair.