If they accept ebt cards for offering

If the ushers sell weed on the side too

When the Black Preacher gets mad because not enough people in the church are filling up the collection plate and slams down his *** on the collection plate and screams:

"I DONT NEED YOUR *** MONEY!" right in front of the whole church, My ex told me about this situation happening at this church she use to attend. She told me, after that...she never returned to that church again.

If the ladies in the choir ALSO work the stripper joints

If your pastor's on parole.

If when Jesus comes...he brings security.

If your church is also someone's house.

When your actually going through a situation where you barley have food in your house, your really hungry , You fellowship at that church on the regular, you have no money right now, and they STILL insist on charging you money for a plate of Collard greens, Macaroni, and chicken they are selling for 5.00$ a plate, they cant just let you off that time because you have no money, and your very hungry...yet their suppose to be Christians...right? LMAO What a joke.

If ya'll have a "building fund" but nothing ever gets built.

If the preacher is an a *** and uses the fact that he gives 10 percent of earnings to God as a justification for his actions.

If the Mother of the church used to be the HO of the church until she got saved.

Ghetto Catholics are the worst. Priests who hang out on the street corners with crack and then pretend its holy bread at Wednesday *** prayer meeting.

If the Christmas play is performed by all the recently released parolees.

If the church is being watched by Undercover cops because of illegal activity

If Pastor's wife is romantically involved with the assistant pastor...who's a woman

@cs808...ummmmm are you alright bro?

Why would the Church be any different from the Garage? Space consumed is space assumed. It's as easy as 1-2-4!

If the collection plate is a styrofoam cup.

If there's 10 offerings during the service to try to get the $$$ amount they looking for.

If Willie the Whino is leading the Devotion.

You gotta go through a metal detector.

They gotta use Kool-Aid during communion. (too many AA members)

The choir dances the electric slide with every selection.

If I walk in . (:

If people donate everyday & aint nun get fixed

The tamborines got no bells

Aint no backs on the benches

The pastor was a rapper back in 89,

They still got the same paper fans they had in the,90's

The pastor got a mediatakeout account

@charliesheen

Alot of phony *** people go to church too, but your not suppose to go there for the people, your suppose to go there to hear the word and worship. Fellowship is part of building a good christian unit with in the church but at the same time, people are still human and you cant put them on to high of a pedal stool. Not even the preacher.

LOL@ CLP

@TOPIC

If the Preacher brings out the TV and starts playing THIS video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7hbmWJLRo0

Long live the 90's

Church music dominates the vertebrae of small animals causing an outerbody experience. If organs play music *** the heathens sing hallelujah?